Candles, Shadows and Inner Contradictions

My eyes are watering. Not because I'm sad. I've been staring at this candle for an hour.

Why? you might ask...

Because I read it in a book. Or was it a reel?

Anyway, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But now that my eyes are watering, I'm starting to wonder...

I can't tell if the shadows dancing around are because of the candle, or if I am causing some sort of permanent damage. Maybe a little of both?

The flame flickers and I smile at the irony.

The shadow blinds you. You can only see it because of the light. But it's hidden by its nature.

Is that you? The REAL you?

Or is it some distorted variant you adopted as the real thing so long ago you can't remember?

This isn't a riddle. It's a decision we have to make every day.

Sure, in the absolute sense, everything that you believe about yourself is just a story you adopted along the way that helps us make sense of the world. Your real Self is perfect, luminous, the pure light of consciousness.

That's great, but it probably doesn't help you check off you to-do list. Or help you connect with loved ones who are struggling, or angry with you because you left the car on empty...again...

A quarter tank is not "empty" by the way. But that's not the point.

The point is that this leaves us in a precarious position. Because we have to treat our shadows as real, without letting them take over our lives.

The shadow that hides its insecurity with anger. Or projects all of its problems on the world when it doesn't feel safe; the victim of a cruel world.

Or the self-righteous shadow that condemns others for not having the "right" beliefs...your beliefs. This one is my favorite because it cloaks itself in light. Ironic.

Which brings us back to where we started. The decision.

Your shadow is real. Until it's not.

If you stuff it and pretend it doesn't exist, it will only get darker- denser.

If you think that everyone else is the problem, you'll only trick yourself into staying stuck; frozen in stasis waiting on the world to change.

The only way to lose it is to bring it into the light. To love the unlovable parts of ourselves until they feel safe enough to let go and return to wholeness.

It's simple enough. Except when you're in the thick of it. Which is most of the time. Maybe even now. And yet...

This is the work we all have to do. If you're lucky, you've found some good company to share the journey. I know I have, and I'm more grateful than words can say.

The only advice I can offer is this:

Love doesn't exist without respect.
Give it freely.
Go gently.
With yourself.
With others.

And of course,
Choose the light.
For yourself.
For others.

Always,

Nick
The Mystic Next Door